Bipolar Explorer

 
 

Music

Sometimes in Dreams

by Bipolar Explorer

Released 01/01/2018
Slugg Records
Released 01/01/2018
Slugg Records
NYC shoegaze trio follow up their acclaimed 6th album, DREAM TOGETHER - “magical & majestic, an ultimate-tour-de-force” (Indiemusic - France) - with this groundbreaking new double-album. "Beautiful, great drifty pop filled with sadness & wonder" (WFMU).
  • 02:55 Lyrics
    You Are Loved (Summer's Theme)

    Don’t feel lonely
    I’m right here.
    Don’t cry
    Nothing is wasted.
    Pack the good memories And leave the rest. Travel light
    It suits you.
    You are not damaged
    I can tell
    By the way you love me. We’re all of us
    Covered in scars

    And it doesn’t stop us from living.
    There’s nothing wrong with you.
    Like everyone,
    You need to be loved.
    And you are...

    Disconsolate, alone, he returned to the small apartment that had been their home. Gently, reverently, he caressed her things - snapshots, one of her famous hot water bottles, the one with Marilyn Monroe on the front, her clothing, letters. He caressed them like relics, like treasure, and quietly slumped to the floor, still clutching a favorite blouse of hers, that he too loved. Hugging her things close, in his grief, he hoped somehow to wring her presence into being.

  • 05:34 Lyrics
    Letter To The Darkest Star

    Love you like no other 

    Come for me
    
Never be another
    
Come for me
    
Took you, took your brother
    
Come for me 

    No reason
    I can discover
    
Come for me
    
Only lonely
    
Come for me
    
Everything that you told me
    
Come for me
    
From nothin' but dirt
    
Come for me
    
Do nothin' but hurt
    
Come for me
    
And I can feel you
    
But I don't know where you are
    
Won't you take me
    
However distant or far?
    
Come to me in secret dreams
    
From the darkest star
    
Won't you take me where you are?

  • 01:46 Lyrics
    From The First

    Lifting his head slightly, he held a postcard from her in his hands, reading it silently. She watched him. She always did. She always would. Far closer than he could dream to know but separated by an invisible barrier, like one-way glass, that only she could see. She spoke to him now, the very words he read. And he thought he dreamt he could see, could even touch her.

    “You’ve always intrigued me”, she said, speaking what was written on the postcard from memory, “from the first moment I set my eyes on you. I wrote that sentence,” she continued, “several… no… many many days ago when I thought I could sum up how I feel about you on a postcard. You are unlike anyone I have ever known”.

    With wonderment and tears streaming down his face, he went to her, touching her gently, gratefully. If he was dreaming, he thought, he mustn’t break the precious spell. She leapt into his arms and his heart was whole again. They kissed and then, speaking the rest of the card, she grabbed a boombox from the shelf… this one.

    “Let’s rock this show one last time,” she said, “for us!”.

  • 03:50
    Flag Day (Summer Dream version)
  • 02:09 Lyrics
    Building The Shrine

    Waking, he rose, full of purpose. The walls, he thought. Why is any of this here? “I want you around me”, he said. And he began to hang photos of her in every space, wherever his eye might fall, he would see her, always. And candles. A shrine. Sanctuary.

  • 07:42 Lyrics
    Ocean

    Swallow your tears and make them mine 

    Tide's gone out and my mind's made up 

    Swallow your tears and make them mine
    
Swallow your tears and I'll turn back time 

    Tide's gone out and my mind's made up 

    Until That Day 
Meet you under the waves- 

    Walk all the way to heaven 

    Until That Day!
    
Until That day!

  • 01:36 Lyrics
    Torn
    He couldn’t be sure which was worse - waking to another day, each morning torn from dreams, torn from her, or the long nights when sleep could not find him. Sometimes, he rode the train for hours, listening to the songs that were theirs. She would watch him, full of care and protection and not a little worried until he was safely home and under the covers. And she would watch him there, too. She would watch him in his sleep…
     
    8.
     
  • 06:51 Lyrics
    So Anyway

    Bury me underground 

    Where I can't hear a sound
    
I'll just slip away
    
Like every yesterday
    
If I could take your place
    
The end you had to make
    
I'd gladly make it mine
    
Bring you back to find
    
All on our own
    
Only alone
    
For anybody else
    
And even for yourself
    
There's no one here to see
    
Still means the world to me
    
All on our own
    
Only alone
    
Send your dark clouds for me
    
What mighta coulda been
    
Can now never be
    
No need to defend
    
We all are in the end
    
Send your dark clouds unto me
    
I guess you probably know
    
Would even tell me so 

    There isn't any doubt
    
I'm never finding out
    
All on our own
    
Only alone
    
Send your dark clouds for me
    
What mighta coulda been
    
Can now never be
    
No need to defend
    
We all are in the end 

    Send your dark clouds unto me
    
So anyway I guess
    
It's only for the best
    
We'll have to leave it there
    
Still clawing at the air
    
All on our own
    
Only alone

  • 01:54 Lyrics
    Phantom Limb

    She would often visit, she would often come to him like this. Still in something like sleep, his eyes would open and he would see her. His angel was with him. They would pass a notebook back and forth, writing things. Later, upon waking he would try to remember it all. Get it down. She still had so much to show him. And in these times he could feel his old life, the beautiful one they had shared, vividly. Like a phantom limb. They would look out at a window together and see. She would grow, charmingly, guilelessly, drowsy. And he would carry her, his treasure, to their bed and fall asleep with her in his arms, her little feet curled around his ankles. Just like always. Just like always…

  • 05:33 Lyrics
    Out

    Don't call me out... 

    And when you go
    
'Cause you're not mine 

    I'm just one more 
thing to get behind you
    
So never mind 
forever more, anyway
    
Don't call me out
    
And every time you stray
    
It gets so hard to find a way 
I can't find you
    
From where I stand
    
Your words aren't clear
    
And I can see your life from here
    
But never mind forever more, anyway 

    Don't call me out
    
Don't call me out just yet

  • 01:45 Lyrics
    Regret and the Horrible Distance

    He found such comfort in dreams, but darker things followed him, there, as well. How could he ever have wasted a moment in disagreement or even anger when those moments were so terribly numbered? Regret followed and ate at what remained of him. He sometimes woke like this. Feeling they’d had some horrible argument and thinking he just needed to get her on the phone. If they could just talk he could make it better. In the dream, he awoke to her ringtone - crickets - but couldn’t get to the phone in time to answer. He’d call and call to no avail, watching day turn to night. Feeling the crush of regret and the horrible distance between them.

  • 04:47 Lyrics
    Never
    Although you'll never know and it's much too late now 

    Even if it's no one's fault how it always breaks down 

    Even if there's only so much more that we can even take now 

    Even so, there's one more thing I just gotta say now 

    I didn't wanna 

    I never wanted to
    
Fall in love with you
    
Thought it was something there just for me and you now 

    So hard to see you share it with somebody new now 

    But maybe it's all you know, it's just what you do now
    
I didn't wanna
    
I never wanted to
    
Fall in love with you
    
Can't believe the best thing
    
That I ever had 

    Could make me feel so bad
    
I thought we'd have more time
    
I really thought we'd have our whole lives
    
I'll have to push that aside 

    Pack up my heart, choke down my pride
    
'Cause that's him on the other line
    
That's his car just pulled up outside
    
I didn't wanna 
I never wanted to
    
Fall in love with you
    
Oh, my love…
    (I'm sorry, so sorry)
       
  • 02:47 Lyrics
    Our Oneness Can Never Be Erased

    Someone told him, early on, that he should talk to her, imagining she could hear. At first it seemed a bit crazy but it grew on him and he grew to need it. What he needed now and so often did was to ask her forgiveness. “I’m so sorry, little sweetheart”, he’d say, his eyes welling with tears. What even he couldn’t imagine was how much she did hear. In the dream, he fell to his knees before her, but she lifted him up. The night sky opened above them. She crawled into his lap as they looked at the stars. And she whispered something in his ear. She also wrote it on his arm. “Our Oneness,” she told him, looking intently into his eyes, speaking with urgency and conviction, “Our Oneness Can Never Be Erased”.

  • 07:35 Lyrics
    Necessary Weight

    Maybe a thing or two
    
More left to say to you
    
On the way to the Love that's True
    
But you're always so far away
    
Misstep right off the mark
    
Words better said in the dark
    
Still stuck in my throat and heart
    
Always so far away
    
Your turn
    
Think it over sometime
    
Let it burn 

    'Way it always does mine
    
Lay me down on the dash of your car
    
And dream of the place
    I dreamt you are
    
Between an ice grey moon and the morning star
    
Always so far away 

    Walls begin to crumble
    
And the ground just falls away
    
No matter what they told you
    
No matter what they say
    
Walls begin to crumble
    
And the earth just falls away
    
By any measurement or standard
    
It's just a necessary weight
    
Lay me down on the dash of your car
    
And dream of the place
    I dreamt you are
    
Between a steel grey moon and the morning star
    
Always so far away
    
You're always so far away
    
Always so far away
    
So far away
    
Far away...

  • 05:56 Lyrics
    And At That Hour, Above (Perigee-Syzygy)

    And at that hour, above, as he stood weeping, he saw the clouds part upon high. The moon, full and miraculous, closer in its orbit than any lifetime, big as a planet. It passed, parting, but not without a promise.

    "Nearer now," he heard her whisper. "Nearer now than you can imagine."

    He felt his heart gasp.

    “And always", she said, "Unto The Forever."
    "Unto The Forever", he repeated between sobs.

    And once more in tandem, together they spoke.

    "Unto the forever. Unto The Forever", they vowed.

  • 01:51 Lyrics
    Sometimes In Dreams

    Sometimes, stirring but not wanting to surrender the world of sleep where he could find her, he would reach for a notebook near the bed in darkness, and try to write down, without ever opening his eyes, what she whispered to him in dreams.

  • 04:58 Lyrics
    No Answer

    No answer 

    For the way you are
    
The way you are 
In my heart
    
All and all and only you
    
Nothing to do
    
Can't help but fall
    
Nothing more to choose
    
Happy to lose myself in you
    
Just fall
    
In my heart
    
In my heart

  • 01:30 Lyrics
    Thousand Thousand Summer

    For the way you are
    A thousand things to say
    In my heart
    A thousand thousand

  • 15:15
    The Choral Text Passage (Summerlove)
  • 01:58 Lyrics
    Circle of Protection

    Weary, his eyes burning, he lay down where he stood in the middle of the room. She circled him protectively, drawing the blinds, outing the lights and curling up at his side, whispering a song into his ear. "It's not about us", she said. "It was so dark for me once, too. Before I found you. Remember? We both said.”

  • 05:12 Lyrics
    Dead End Street

    You can talk yourself into anything 

    Believe it's true
    
But nothing you can say
    
Will ever make me believe again in you 

    All you did just to break it
    
All you do can't erase it
    
Dead End Street
    
Lost our way down a
    
Dead End Street
    
No return 

    You tell me where to turn
    
When anything that ya wanna 
Is everything that you're gonna
    
You tell me who gets burned
    
When everything that ya wanna 
Is anything that ya gonna 

    Dead End Street
    
We can never replace it…

  • 04:00 Lyrics
    Sometimes He Lost His Way

    Sometimes, often, he lost his way.

    For a time, there was drink, in which he found no real solace but led him to further despair and sometimes danger.

    “I’ll die all over again,” she tried to say to him, “if you just give up.”

    But in these moments, when he needed most to, he simply couldn’t hear her. Even so, she would never leave him. Her heart was too stout, her soul too intrepid, her love too courageous for that.

    As he wandered the streets in drunkenness and self-loathing she followed him, pulled at his hand as the headlights of a cab flashed by running a stop sign. As he waited for a subway train, standing perilously close to tracks, she stood guard, unseen and un-sensed, guiding him over the gap and into the deserted late-night car.

    Huddled against the wall, the tears coming again, he asked to be taken. But she spoke to him, softly and purposefully.

    “No,”, she said. “No, my love. Not yet.”

    He thought he heard her and so he answered, “But when? And how will I know it is my time?”

    She sat with him on the small seat he’d crumpled himself into. “You will know. I will tell you. I will come and collect you, sweetheart. But not just yet.”

    He had a far away look and she wasn’t sure she’d reached him. As he staggered out at the next stop and down the platform toward the exit to the street, she followed, concerned and vigilant, prodding him home until he fell safely, if sadly, into bed.

    His sleep was restless, tortured, but she remained…

  • 06:40 Lyrics
    Any Day

    My stupid hands 

    My foolish mouth
    
Let the one cover the other
    
Never let it out
    
I'll never know
    
It's so unfair
    
Dreamt you float alive above me 

    Catch you in mid-air 

    If only...
    
'Cause now you're gone… (hey, now)
    
Now you're gone
    
And I'm still alive
    
And any day is a good day to die
    (…/I) 
Don't sleep
    
Can't find my way
    
There's nothing left of me without you
    
All I need to say to you
    
But now you're gone … (hey, now)
    
Now you're gone
    
And I'm still alive
    
And any day is a good day to die
    
Close my eyes to find you
    
I'm right behind you
    
'Cause nothing so unkind could be true
    
Sleep is finally mine
    
And you...
    
But daylight shatters
    
Daylight shatters
    
Nothing matters
    
Any day's a good day to die...

  • 01:38 Lyrics
    As Dawn Broke (She Watched Over Him)

    As dawn broke she watched over him still, gently smoothing the worry lines out of his forehead. She rose and opened a small box from the shrine of her treasures he kept so faithfully. When she opened it- as I do now - the most beautifully sweet fragrance began to fill the room. Her fragrance – like cotton candy or the best birthday cake anyone ever made for you. And waking, he knew. He knew his angel was with him.

    Rising with hope and faith and purpose he listened, sensing but not seeing her. He spoke quietly - too quietly for us to hear. He spoke quietly to her, the spirit he could feel in the room. And although he was looking in the entirely wrong direction, she was there, listening attentively. He wrote feverishly in their notebook as she whispered in his ear. And he was looking in entirely the wrong direction but could clearly hear her.

  • 05:04 Lyrics
    Comin' Home
    Build their walls around 

    Just to keep you down
    
But they don't see you
    
They don't know
    
What they say - don't do it
    
Nothing more than a lie
    
And they choose it
    
They don't see you
    
They don't know
    
Tell me somethin'
    
Tell me all
    
Can't wait 
I'm comin' home
    
You're everything I think of
    
Everything I love
    
Lived a lonely life
    
And swore 
I was maybe alive before
    
But whatever that was I don't know
    
Built my life around you
    
Couldn't ever really live without you
    
Just you and me 
I know that you know 

    Tell me somethin'
    
Tell me all
    
Can't wait 
I'm comin' home 

    You're everything I think of
    
Everything I love
    
Comin' home
    
Tell me somethin', tell me all
    
Comin' home, Summer
    
I can't wait
    
I'm comin' home 

    You're everything
    I think of
    Everything I love...
     
    26.
     
  • 01:45 Lyrics
    Day Turns To Beautiful Night

    As day turned to beautiful night, shadows overtaking the sun and still so very certain of her presence, he lit his candles. Waiting and wordlessly calling to her from deep within his being, Calling to her - the other half of his soul.

  • 07:44 Lyrics
    Lost Life

    I still remember the day that we met
    
I'm still not anywhere over it yet
    
I remember the day that you died
    
I only wanna be with you on
    The Other Side 

    And somehow 

    Someday
    
Somewhere
    
Some way
    
It was a beautiful life that we had
    
And I miss you, now, baby
    
Oh, so bad.
    
The Light's gone out
    
And I ache like thunder
    
I still need you
    
And I just wonder if...
    
Somehow
    
Someday
    
Somewhere
    
Some way...
    
Ah!
    
Life's so lonely without you
    
But I bet
    
I haven't even seen the worst of it yet
    
All the love inside you
    
It saved me
    
And I know
    
That wherever you are now sweetheart 
Is where I must go 

    So, somehow 

    Someday 

    Somewhere
    
Some way
    
Ah!

    And you are!
    And you are!

    And you are!

    In this moment she appeared to him. In this waking hour he saw and could see. Overcome with emotion he understood at last. She beckoned and he returned to her joyfully, as she said, simply… now!

  • 06:25 Lyrics
    Forever After Montage

    Call the angels in for me
    Let it all come to be

    Because a lifetime is just not enough
    And the earth could never hold me
    Because I still need you so much
    So let the love that has so blessed us
    Finally take me to my rest
    And then…

    Call the angels in for me
    Let it all come
    Let it all come
    Let it all come to be

NOTES
ABOUT THIS ALBUM:

"Unforgettable and essential. This is a major record." -Indiemusic (France)


NYC shoegaze trio follow up their acclaimed sixth album, DREAM TOGETHER - “magical & majestic, an ultimate-tour-de-force” (Indiemusic - France) - with this groundbreaking new double-album. A gapless flow of dreampop and post-rock underscored narrative across two discs. “Beautiful, great drifty pop filled with sadness and wonder” (Irene Trudel, WFMU).


28 tracks in all, SOMETIMES IN DREAMS is conceived as a live arts installation work for performance in collaboration with a visual artist. Featuring band co-founders Summer Serafin on vocals and spoken word, Michael Serafin-Wells on vocals, guitars, bass, percussion, tape loops and spoken and band friend Kim Donovan on additional spoken word/narration, this album, the group's seventh, revisits and re-imagines the songs from their 2012 release OF LOVE AND LOSS, weaving them seamlessly together with fourteen new compositions underscoring its newly penned poetic narrative as in live performance of the work. "Like a late night post-rock radio transmission drifting across the airwaves as we lay half asleep in bed" (Duly Noted - Montreal)


The limited edition CD comes with a beautiful 30 page booklet, conceived by Michael, in the style of a Victorian book of verses, with vintage black and white photos and the album's narrative, composed by Michael and voiced on the album by himself and Kim. The breathtaking cover image that wraps around the entire eco-wallet including the spine, is a photo - "A Summer Tale" - courtesy of celebrated French photographer and artist Colette Saint Yves.


Recorded live, noisily and in a hurry at The Shrine - NYC. Mixed and produced by Bipolar Explorer. Mastered by Scott Craggs, Old Colony - Boston.


All music and words by Michael Serafin-Wells (and Summer & Michael where noted), c. 2018 Thirteen November Music (ASCAP).
c/p 2018 Slugg Records.


ABOUT THE BAND:


Their sixth album, DREAM TOGETHER praised as “Magical and majestic - an ultimate tour-de-force” by France’s Indiemusic; their double-album, OF LOVE AND LOSS (2013) - "The most significantly stirring and addictive musical accomplishment we've come across in some time. Taut, emotional, urgent and altogether haunting” - and its follow-up, ANGELS (2015) - “Electrifying, what music fueled by raw love and emotions sounds like” - each a Critics Pick for Best Albums of the Year by Ground Control Magazine, Bipolar Explorer are an NYC-based dreampop, post-rock group founded by Summer Serafin (vocals) and former Uncle frontman Michael Serafin-Wells (lead guitar & vocals, bass, percussion, tape loops, spoken word), notable for intimate, electric live performances, unimpeachable songwriting, uncompromising DIY ethos and their playing without drums.


Featured on the legendary Irene Trudel's show on WFMU ("America's best radio station" - Rolling Stone) who calls their sound "beautiful, great drifty pop, full of sadness and wonder", the band’s newest record, a double-album, SOMETIMES IN DREAMS, is released on Slugg Records New Years Day 2018.


Recorded, mixed and produced by the band at The Shrine in New York’s Hell’s Kitchen, SOMETIMES IN DREAMS is the group’s seventh album overall and their third in just the span of a eighteen months. In June 2016, the group released ELECTRIC HYMNAL, a sixteen track collection of devotional songs and spoken word (both secular and sacred) - a meditation and sonic prayer for their fallen bandmate, Michael's true love and partner, Summer Serafin - in a limited edition one-time pressing on CD only (no digital), offering it free of charge, as a gift of faith.


Again, praised by Ground Control: "...Get ready to be swept up and away by a prayerful reverie of melodies. Listening, I began to feel like I was flying. Don’t forget that Bipolar Explorer is a post-rock band. Low growling vocals, gnarly grinding tempos, rhythmic looping strands that escape and rise above the weight of this world, where angels and the living mingle…"


The interweaving of spoken word into the band’s work was explained by Serafin-Wells recently in conversation with USC filmmaker, Alexandra Dennis-Renner, who is making a documentary, "Sonic Prayer", about the band.


Having begun work on a live performance art adaptation of their double-album, OF LOVE AND LOSS - first presented as a "concert performance" in Brooklyn in October 2015, the project continued to grow with 14 new compositions and narrative underscored and seamless linking the work in a gapless and continual flow over two discs, becoming this very album. About the project, Serafin-Wells says,“the idea of a female voice, a spoken word narrator, came to mind. To tell the story in tandem with the band, supported by film projections. And once I wrote the narrative voice for the live Of Love, that just started to seem a natural thing, making its way into ELECTRIC HYMNAL and DREAM TOGETHER. Ya know? In that way that things sort of cross-pollinate through multiple projects. We were listening a lot to Laurie Anderson’s “Heart of A Dog” at the time and we kinda thought… yeah.”


In artistic collaboration with several visual artist friends of the band, all three albums - “Electric Hymnal”, "Dream Together" and “Sometimes in Dreams” are conceived for performance as live installation pieces, in intimate, non-traditional settings. Immersive and multi-media, this direction might well be seen as a natural outgrowth of the band’s perennial choice of performance setting - art galleries - and other non-traditional venues.


Forging an unique sound - described variously as shoegaze, dreampop, slowcore, post-rock and minimalist indie - well serves the new songs Serafin-Wells began writing in the aftermath of the tragic loss of the group's female vocalist, Michael's love and partner, Summer Serafin, who passed away after a tragic accident in 2011. She was just 31. At work at the time on a new record, the group eventually returned to those recordings, adding them to a handful of newly written songs post-tragedy and re-conceiving the album as both a testament and tribute to Ms. Serafin – muse, collaborator and True Love - yielding a double-album, Of Love and Loss, released to great acclaim in October 2012.


As Michael told Indiemusic’s Raphael Duprez in a feature about the band (February 2017): “All of this is entirely for her. I often say that our music, each album, is of, for and about her. It’s my way of telling people about her and talking to her myself. That’s the “for’ and “about” parts of the equation. And Summer remains an integral part of the band - not only as its inspiration but, because I have lots of her isolated vocals from other recording sessions - as her voice, both spoken and singing, graces each record. I’ll write songs and fly in her voice. Summer isn’t the main reason BPX goes on, she’s the only reason. She is the reason. And I think I can trust that I’m doing things for the right reason if I always know the reason for it is her. Not out of any ambition other than to honor and conjure her. She’s my conscience..."


Bipolar Explorer's releases include “Sometimes in Dreams” (2018), “Dream Together" (2017), "Electric Hymnal" (2016), "Angels" (2015), their holiday album - "BPXmas" (2014), "Of Love and Loss" (2012), the digital-only singles "Watchers and Holy Ones" (2017), "We'll All Go Together" (2016) and "Downtown Train" (2015) and their earlier (pre-Summer) debut "Go Negative". All titles are available on Slugg Records.


Credits

released January 1, 2018

Summer Serafin: vocals, spoken word.
Michael Serafin-Wells: guitars, bass, percussion, tape loops, vocals, spoken word.


Additional spoken word/narrator - Kim Donovan.


Recorded live, noisily and in a hurry at The Shrine - New York City. Produced by Bipolar Explorer.


Mastered by Scott Craggs, Old Colony - Boston.
Cover image: “A Summer Tale” by Colette Saint Yves.
Booklet conceived by Michael Serafin-Wells.
Art direction/layout: Audun Grimstad.


All songs by Michael Serafin-Wells, c. 2018 Thirteen November Music (ASCAP), c/p Slugg Records.


Sometimes in Dreams is conceived for and imagined as a live performance arts installation with a spoken word narration component and visuals. For inquiries, visual artist collaboration and bookings, contact the band via their website: www.bipolarexplorer.info


For Summer who filled my life with light and love and who is with me, I know. With all my love forever...


-Michael Serafin-Wells, New York City, Jan 1, 2018